Friday 19 October, 2007

Banishing Singledom

Never under estimate the match-making capacity of the average Indian bua or masi. At any rate, if you do happen to overlook their talent in this direction do so at your own peril.

I hitherto plead guilty of such an oversight.

At ** (my age, what else), which is old enough for girls in our community to stay unmarried, I was sitting pretty. No parading myself in saris, no listing of my various qualities (er, ahem) as a homemaker to the aunts of prospective grooms and no time wasted in listening to the hemming and hawing of their nervous, perspiring nephews. I considered myself lucky for the JRF thingummy which gave me the official label of ‘student’ and saved me from the above-mentioned perils. I even went so far as to boast to my less fortunate pals of having broad-minded parents.

Not so anymore. The ultimatum’s out. The alarm bell’s ringing. The signal’s flashing an urgent red. Black cats have suddenly turned over-zealous and are busy chasing each other across my path, the figure 13 is popping up in the unlikeliest of places, the sneezing rate around me has considerably escalated (so much that I am planning to write to the health minister) and even my mirror chose to crack itself while I was combing my hair. The doom’s upon me, like the Lady of Shalot.

The unreasonability of Alice’s wonderland has descended here what with every elderly female behaving like the Red Queen and every male of advancing years mooching about like the mad hatter.

Lofty reasons like ‘doing my bit against population outburst’, ‘wedded to my career’ and ‘go take a look at what happened to Rani-Abhishek-SRK-Priety in Kabhi Alvida…’ are falling flat on selectively deaf ears. Poor ol’ me is fiercely thinking up petty ones now (‘His nose is flat’ and ‘He looks like Asrani/Johnny Lever’ variety). And I need help! Save My Soul (SOS was far too socialistic, we are the SMS generation after all) from these Bachelorhood Bulldozers. :-(


16 comments:

June Nandy Chaudhuri said...

My my Deepti,you've let the woman in you out.Touchwood.Btw what age did you mention?Lol.

Yeah,you are right.A girl of impressionable age has to endure all these aberrations and sometimes be a victim to these frivolous antics of the er...did you say black cats crossing path??Ha Ha Ha!You sure have a way with words.

Lady,decision time for you,research or no research scholar.There's no escape from marriage.Keep us informed about the developments.We'll provide you with the much needed adrenaline.Lol.

Cool Blog.

Unknown said...

hey deeps..just dont worry ..ur sos has been catched...and help is on the way..[:d]

Unknown said...

@june...
there is definitely an escape route from the cluthces of marriage..... one just need to find it......

COOLDEEPTEA said...

Hey June, the womsn in me is more being pulled out than me letting it come out..lol...trust me lady, I am committed to staying single and bua brigade has a tough time ahead!

Thanx Piyush. Keep a supply of 'Inane reasons to say No'....i am going to run out of them soon....heehee...

Unknown said...

Deeps...
just be sure buddy...u will never run out of "the reasons to no"....after all 2 mighty brains will be working round the clock.....[:d]

Gulgula said...

Too many reasons to say No have their own problems :P

Good luck with everything. (btw, I posted as Bhaaluu first; blogger didn't update my screen name in first comment).

Kabir said...

No need to worry, Just follow ur dreams fearlessly..And hope for the best

badalaa na apane aap ko jo the vahii rahe
milate rahe sabhii se magar ajanabii rahe

duniyaa na jiit paao to haaro na Khud ko tum
Tho.Dii bahut to zahan me.n naaraazagii rahe

Nida Fazli

COOLDEEPTEA said...

@ Gulgula
Dear me, what are they? Since you've visited and commented on the blog its ur moral duty to chip in with intelligent advice. Why else dyu think I put it up on the net? hehe

@ Kabir
Thanx pal, that was inspiring. Not that I need any...raring to go in full rebellion mode already... :D

Gulgula said...

Well I know of one person .. He refused quite a bunch of proposals with excuses, and now he sits unmarried. His parents are not able to convince anyone for marriage now :P

Strike a balance. Don't hit either side.

Unknown said...

^^^^^wow!!!! thats inspiring news..... isnt it deeps...

Gulgula said...

Bachelorhood gets to you after 30. Just watch out ^^^^ at so thought good news :P

It's true for most out there.

mostly harmless said...

marry me... I am serious :)

mostly harmless said...

I promise you will be as good as single.

COOLDEEPTEA said...

Hoho...tht was a good one, but rather irrelevant...the quest here is to maintain my singledom..m nt runnig my swayamwar here

Unknown said...

Somehow, the Indian tradition of parents choosing a mate for their child is strange to me. Do you ever see that happening among animals?

We are of course Animals at the core and our prime motive in life, believe it or not, is to produce more of our kind.
Forcing your child to mate with someone whom they have never known is strange. Isn't choosing the fittest mate a major step in the evolutionary process?

I think that if we socialise enough, we come across our choice of mates naturally. We wont need parents fixing up our future if we meet and interact with more people.

COOLDEEPTEA said...

Well, if you want to ride the evolution horse I am all ready to do so - it's my favourite horse anyday :)

Yeah, the tradition of choosing a mate by someone else is most definitely weird - but not againts evolutionary principles as parents are very very careful as to the kind of grandchildren they wish to have..lmlo!

The interesting point is this too - voluntary singledom. Its something like human beings defying evolutionary principles. That 'A condom was an anti-evolution revolution'is a quip I am proud of originating...hehe...