"As Lalu Yadav said earlier during the debate, many members of the house do not know much about the Indo-US civilian nuclear deal, I happen to be one of them." So admitted Mehbooba Mufti of People's Democractic Party.
Waah bhai waah! I have been hearing this sarcastic rendition since childhood - "Saari Ramayan khatam ho gayi to poochhte ho Sita kiski biwi thi?" (After the entire Ramayan was over, you asked whose wife was Sita anyway?). Never had I thought I would get such a live example of the same over National TV. Here is the entire country going gaga about the deal. Even the fruit vendor I came across yesterday was discussing the deal with me, and here we have an MP if you please, thumping her chest with affected, self-righteous honesty and exposing her utter ignorance. Aargh! What on earth do I say?
Meet Shibu Soren. A man accused of master-minding a murder. He now stands tall with the Coal Ministry probably in his pocket. There goes Amar Singh, being openly accused of buying MPs for money. Mr. Advani is so desperate for one term as PM he will touch lower and lower depths of dis-integrity. Man! I am tired of slapping my palm against my forehead.
Consider the utter, arrant, total, self-absorbing IDIOCY of our MPs - while just-out-of-high school Rahul Gandhi was making a speech about the stamina and fighting spirit of a Vidarbha widow Kalavati, the BSP objected saying her name was too close to the name of their chief Mayawati!!!!!!!!!! Imagine that the ruckus created over this forced the Lok Sabha to be adjourned for an hour and after it resumed, Gandhi had to refer to his heroine only as Mrs. Kala!!!!!!!! Have our MPs done a doctorate in raising non-issues? What did they think, this was a national circus going on where they were to act as clowns to provide tax-free entertainment to the gareeb junta?
61 years of Independence and here we stand. Atop a moral quicksand where truth gets sucked in so fast you hardly ever see it. Why has integrity gone out of fashion? Why aren't there any ideologies left? So right was Shashi Tharoor when he likened Democracy with Draupadi. Isn't she being mauled and insulted and raped everyday in front of and by its so-called custodians? Shame, shame on each one of us. Not one of us ought to spare himself the blame of bringing India down chin-deep into this horse shit.
Give me a break, someone! Please!
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Friday, 11 July 2008
Who let the cat out (of the bag)?
Now we smell a rat, we do.
The UPA Government was blamed robustly for its alleged opacity in keeping the nuke deal text as big a secret as the face of a newly wed Hindu bride of yore.
And then the text was plunged in toto on an American website.
And then the IAEA spokesperson Melissa Fleming claimed sheer absence of any restrictions on the publicizing of the treaty.
Seems like our ruling party is having a severe egg-on-the-face trouble. And not just any egg, but that of an ostrich. And everyone who can, is having all the fun he can have with this egg, churning and churning it to make proper eggnog.
But while everyone else is preoccupied with reading between the lines of the agreement, here is our query - who was it that made the text public? And why?Since we have no idea of the truth, let's make a volley of speculations. Well perhaps not a volley, to be exact 'cause I can think of a mere two -
A random event? If so, the co-incidence couldn't have been timed better.
Left and/or the BJP? If so, I ought to give them more credit for their overseas ties. I guess their MPs must be actually doing something during their trips abroad.
More options, are there any?
The UPA Government was blamed robustly for its alleged opacity in keeping the nuke deal text as big a secret as the face of a newly wed Hindu bride of yore.
And then the text was plunged in toto on an American website.
And then the IAEA spokesperson Melissa Fleming claimed sheer absence of any restrictions on the publicizing of the treaty.
Seems like our ruling party is having a severe egg-on-the-face trouble. And not just any egg, but that of an ostrich. And everyone who can, is having all the fun he can have with this egg, churning and churning it to make proper eggnog.
But while everyone else is preoccupied with reading between the lines of the agreement, here is our query - who was it that made the text public? And why?Since we have no idea of the truth, let's make a volley of speculations. Well perhaps not a volley, to be exact 'cause I can think of a mere two -
A random event? If so, the co-incidence couldn't have been timed better.
Left and/or the BJP? If so, I ought to give them more credit for their overseas ties. I guess their MPs must be actually doing something during their trips abroad.
More options, are there any?
Ah! For some Eve-lution in the US of A?
No Woman No Cry - So sang Boney M, and America chorused.
In the years old history of the nation, never has a woman been the one to (wo)man the helm, and now does not appear likely to do so for another five years. Hilary Clinton, the former first lady, bows out of the race, giving way to charismatic Dem opponent Barack Obama.
Ah! For some Eve-lution in the US of A?
Incredible co-incidence for Clinton, this, that the state of Iowa should have a city named Waterloo for it was here that she faced one of her worst debacles.
I was actually quite irked by the constant mention of sexism in association with the lady. Was she or was she not the victim is debatable as even the feminist lobby seems divided in its opinion. If she was, then I would like to repeat Agatha Christie - 'Human nature is the same everywhere.' If she wasn't, then her self-acclamation as one such victim is an exhibition of poor politics - which it seems has been her besetting sin.
Anyway, so much for the Americans. How are we Indians taking it? I guess with an Indira Gandhi in the past and a Pratibha Patil in the present along with a posse of Mayawatis, Jayalalithas, Rabris, Uma Bhartis et al, Clinton's gender ought not to cause raised eyebrows in this land of paradoxes?
(Though with Obama, there could have been a slight stir, methinks. Remember, people did object to Sonia Gandhi's race when she was racing for the PM's chair).
On the whole we should mourn Clinton's loss. With Obama looking so hale and heartily ahead of McCain in the view of election's crystal-ball-gazers and happily planning to cut down outsourcing, it would have probably been better for us if the Americans had not agreed with Boney M.
In the years old history of the nation, never has a woman been the one to (wo)man the helm, and now does not appear likely to do so for another five years. Hilary Clinton, the former first lady, bows out of the race, giving way to charismatic Dem opponent Barack Obama.
Ah! For some Eve-lution in the US of A?
Incredible co-incidence for Clinton, this, that the state of Iowa should have a city named Waterloo for it was here that she faced one of her worst debacles.
I was actually quite irked by the constant mention of sexism in association with the lady. Was she or was she not the victim is debatable as even the feminist lobby seems divided in its opinion. If she was, then I would like to repeat Agatha Christie - 'Human nature is the same everywhere.' If she wasn't, then her self-acclamation as one such victim is an exhibition of poor politics - which it seems has been her besetting sin.
Anyway, so much for the Americans. How are we Indians taking it? I guess with an Indira Gandhi in the past and a Pratibha Patil in the present along with a posse of Mayawatis, Jayalalithas, Rabris, Uma Bhartis et al, Clinton's gender ought not to cause raised eyebrows in this land of paradoxes?
(Though with Obama, there could have been a slight stir, methinks. Remember, people did object to Sonia Gandhi's race when she was racing for the PM's chair).
On the whole we should mourn Clinton's loss. With Obama looking so hale and heartily ahead of McCain in the view of election's crystal-ball-gazers and happily planning to cut down outsourcing, it would have probably been better for us if the Americans had not agreed with Boney M.
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Iron hand shirks the Velvet Glove
So finally, after having bickered and fought like an old married couple, the Left formally filed suit against the Congress for divorce, citing the US of A as third party.
News! News! Our very own M.M.S., (read Manmohan Singh), after having been the butt of endless Laughter Challenge jokes, has finally showed Indians that he is the proud possessor of a razor-sharp tongue. Its not just George Bush smothering him with accolades, but, and here you have to trust me, several Indians too.
More than a gentleman, M.M.S. is a gentle man. Soft spoken to the point of being labeled the weakest Prime Minister ever and considered a Sonia-stooge by several, he finally seemed to come of age and gave strong unequivocal statements in favor of the Nuclear Deal.
What's more, at least on two occasions, he came out as that rare politician who does not crave the chair like a drug addict. Once, he offered to resign if he could not carry the deal forward, and then he went ahead with his mission of giving I.A.E.A. the nod even when the Left threatened to pull out.
Good going, Sir! We wish you a happy wedded life with Softie Singh Yadav. :)
News! News! Our very own M.M.S., (read Manmohan Singh), after having been the butt of endless Laughter Challenge jokes, has finally showed Indians that he is the proud possessor of a razor-sharp tongue. Its not just George Bush smothering him with accolades, but, and here you have to trust me, several Indians too.
More than a gentleman, M.M.S. is a gentle man. Soft spoken to the point of being labeled the weakest Prime Minister ever and considered a Sonia-stooge by several, he finally seemed to come of age and gave strong unequivocal statements in favor of the Nuclear Deal.
What's more, at least on two occasions, he came out as that rare politician who does not crave the chair like a drug addict. Once, he offered to resign if he could not carry the deal forward, and then he went ahead with his mission of giving I.A.E.A. the nod even when the Left threatened to pull out.
Good going, Sir! We wish you a happy wedded life with Softie Singh Yadav. :)
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Two lesbians decide to get married, and one of the lesbians' ex-husband gives her away at the altar...A cross-dressing gay dad attends his son's wedding wearing a smart gown....An uber-smart mom kisses her son's friend...A guy falls in love with and marries a woman old enough to be his mother and lives with her happily ever after...A sister plays surrogate mother to her brother's triplets...An elderly couple make out without knowing their adult daughter was in the background...A father accidentally coming upon his daughter and son-in-law making love and after all the embarrassment goes on to give them tips on how to conceive....
Written like this, hashed up in cold blood, it all sounds so gross, so unpalatable. And yet F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is a hugely popular TV series that has captured the heart of millions and won accolades hands down.
There is something essentially warm and human about this ten year long drama(1994-2004). Yes, when seen here, even a lesbian wedding seems emotional and the paternal feelings of a gay dad get transmitted out of celluloid straight to your hearts - and all this while you are laughing your heads off at the awesome comic timing of the actors and the genuinely rib-tickling one-liners they are handed out by their scriptwriters.
Each character has been etched finely and given a very definite form and shape. One thinks sarcasm and Chandler pops into the mind. Ross is Geek to the K. Fashion Freaks are Rachels and Control Freaks are Monicas. If Phoebe is weirdness peronified, then Joey is the epitome of endearing inanity.
It takes the magical combination of superb actors (Jennifer Anisten, Lisa Kudrow, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Matt Le Blanc and David Schwimmer) and absolutely top card behind-the-camera crew that makes FRIENDS click for us. Just look at the attention paid to the smallest of details. See how even the bit-part actors get such finely etched roles. Notice how the connectivity never breaks between sequential episodes and yet an individual episode can also be enjoyed and understood out of sync. Hats off!
Written like this, hashed up in cold blood, it all sounds so gross, so unpalatable. And yet F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is a hugely popular TV series that has captured the heart of millions and won accolades hands down.
There is something essentially warm and human about this ten year long drama(1994-2004). Yes, when seen here, even a lesbian wedding seems emotional and the paternal feelings of a gay dad get transmitted out of celluloid straight to your hearts - and all this while you are laughing your heads off at the awesome comic timing of the actors and the genuinely rib-tickling one-liners they are handed out by their scriptwriters.
Each character has been etched finely and given a very definite form and shape. One thinks sarcasm and Chandler pops into the mind. Ross is Geek to the K. Fashion Freaks are Rachels and Control Freaks are Monicas. If Phoebe is weirdness peronified, then Joey is the epitome of endearing inanity.
It takes the magical combination of superb actors (Jennifer Anisten, Lisa Kudrow, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Matt Le Blanc and David Schwimmer) and absolutely top card behind-the-camera crew that makes FRIENDS click for us. Just look at the attention paid to the smallest of details. See how even the bit-part actors get such finely etched roles. Notice how the connectivity never breaks between sequential episodes and yet an individual episode can also be enjoyed and understood out of sync. Hats off!
Monday, 9 June 2008
Of tone-deaf adults and buzzed teens
It took two long years for the Children's Commissioner of UK to realize that the 'Mosquito Teen Deterrent' was against human rights of teen-aged Britons. Professor Sir Al Aynsley-Green took his time commenting that the device was 'demonising' the youth, and his time came only after about 3,500 units of the 'demoniser' had already been traded. But shop owners are loathe to get rid of it, for they owe the security of their businesses to these non-adult alarms. And the 'Mosquito Teen Deterrent' is here to stay, claimed the UK Government when it refused to ban it.
I salute you, O Commercialism, for having managed to devour every other consideration, including the capacity to decide what is human and what is not.
Does it hurt you to think that a large population of the teens residing in the Queen's land are being treated with pest-control measures? Are they being, by any chance, confused with a flight of locusts?
However, that is a less relevant query.
Does it matter to those children and teens who are being meted out this treatment?
Frankly, this was where shock set into my system.
The situation where the injured party themselves should have been the ones to register antagonism, they were found gleefully enjoying it all! I found myself actually fidgeting to find incidents of irate mobs, angry slogans and wrathful showdowns where the youngsters participated. What I came across instead were mobile ringtones that were rip-offs from the ultrasonic alarm that became popular overnight - students began to use it to get messages during class hours right under the noses of presbycusis stricken adult teachers! Their message was loud and clear - 'Treat us as non-humans if you wanna, we shall enjoy it anyway.'
Someone please go tell the marketing honchos in charge of selling the Mosquito - they can actually use it as an age-detector in catching the lying mommies and cinema actors red-handed. Why do they need to make money out of such Mephistophelian activities? No, I understand its not their fault. Where else would they find a market where victims are lapping up the products designed to harm them?
Ah! Mother Evolution! Here you were with the gift of the most evolved creature - the human. And here is the new human generation devoid of any respect for your gift!
I salute you, O Commercialism, for having managed to devour every other consideration, including the capacity to decide what is human and what is not.
Does it hurt you to think that a large population of the teens residing in the Queen's land are being treated with pest-control measures? Are they being, by any chance, confused with a flight of locusts?
However, that is a less relevant query.
Does it matter to those children and teens who are being meted out this treatment?
Frankly, this was where shock set into my system.
The situation where the injured party themselves should have been the ones to register antagonism, they were found gleefully enjoying it all! I found myself actually fidgeting to find incidents of irate mobs, angry slogans and wrathful showdowns where the youngsters participated. What I came across instead were mobile ringtones that were rip-offs from the ultrasonic alarm that became popular overnight - students began to use it to get messages during class hours right under the noses of presbycusis stricken adult teachers! Their message was loud and clear - 'Treat us as non-humans if you wanna, we shall enjoy it anyway.'
Someone please go tell the marketing honchos in charge of selling the Mosquito - they can actually use it as an age-detector in catching the lying mommies and cinema actors red-handed. Why do they need to make money out of such Mephistophelian activities? No, I understand its not their fault. Where else would they find a market where victims are lapping up the products designed to harm them?
Ah! Mother Evolution! Here you were with the gift of the most evolved creature - the human. And here is the new human generation devoid of any respect for your gift!
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Double Entendres
Why am I blogging about Double Entendres? Because of 3 reasons -
1. I am semi-non-pachydermatous
2. I am a female
3. I am living in a sex-crazed male world
Now don't you go about getting the wrong idea about me. Being an Evolutionary Biology enthusiast, I am a Life Sciences graduate and post-graduate. I know the importance of what bees and birds do. I am, in addition, quite a no-nonsense, non-squeamish, academic discusser of that three-letter-word-which-should-not-be-pronouned. I know that makes the world tick and while I do not go about cracking the ashleel, maansaahaari category of jokes, I do laugh at some of the more decent ones amongst them.
Besides, the mood of this blog is not angry or irritated. Actually three unintentionally rhyming words shall describe my current state of mind well - Bemused (33%), Amused (40%) and Confused [100-(33+40)% calculate for yourself if you are that enthu. We biologists pride ourselves on not knowing much of maths].
So that sets the preliminaries right. Now for a little bit of history.
I recall that as rather raw, green-behind-the-ears 18 year old, I used to go to the Symbi mess to have my dinner with my elder flatmates and their elder guy friends. The express instruction to me and to two others like me was this - 'If possible keep shut before the guys. And if you do open your trap and utter something you are not to utter, you are to shut right back up immediately after I give you the hint to do so.' This instruction had come our way after one or two bewildering (to us) situations when something innocent said by me or the others had got the guys in our group either wreathed with mischievous grins or with devilish glints that said not in words but action - 'Oh Yeah? And then....?'
I guess the male of the species and many of the females reading this blog shall know what I mean. The most innocent sounding words somehow get twisted into having sexual connotations without any apparent rhyme or reason! Why o why? The other day my friend raised this topic, and we got to enlisting a number of these mis-meant strings of letters. I was baffled by the sheer number of words that I came across! Nearly every third or fourth word we speak in our daily lives is not always what it was meant to be. In fact, it was her suggestion that this topic may just be worth blogging about. Abhilasha here goes your suggestion converted into action.
But thing is, I am myself a little unsure what the exact purpose of this blog is. Is it because I wish to bring to the notice of the orthodox literary world that look what's happening to your dictionary? Do I wish to share with other females my feeling of embarrassment covered beneath a veneer of 'Oh-okay-it-happens' when it does happen? Do I wish to rebuke the male species to mind their language interpretation skills?
Don't know yaar! I am, just as I mentioned above, Bemused, Amused and Confused. In that order. And did you calculate the %age of confusion in the blog and in me? And did I use any words here that have unintentional double entendres? Wonder!
1. I am semi-non-pachydermatous
2. I am a female
3. I am living in a sex-crazed male world
Now don't you go about getting the wrong idea about me. Being an Evolutionary Biology enthusiast, I am a Life Sciences graduate and post-graduate. I know the importance of what bees and birds do. I am, in addition, quite a no-nonsense, non-squeamish, academic discusser of that three-letter-word-which-should-not-be-pronouned. I know that makes the world tick and while I do not go about cracking the ashleel, maansaahaari category of jokes, I do laugh at some of the more decent ones amongst them.
Besides, the mood of this blog is not angry or irritated. Actually three unintentionally rhyming words shall describe my current state of mind well - Bemused (33%), Amused (40%) and Confused [100-(33+40)% calculate for yourself if you are that enthu. We biologists pride ourselves on not knowing much of maths].
So that sets the preliminaries right. Now for a little bit of history.
I recall that as rather raw, green-behind-the-ears 18 year old, I used to go to the Symbi mess to have my dinner with my elder flatmates and their elder guy friends. The express instruction to me and to two others like me was this - 'If possible keep shut before the guys. And if you do open your trap and utter something you are not to utter, you are to shut right back up immediately after I give you the hint to do so.' This instruction had come our way after one or two bewildering (to us) situations when something innocent said by me or the others had got the guys in our group either wreathed with mischievous grins or with devilish glints that said not in words but action - 'Oh Yeah? And then....?'
I guess the male of the species and many of the females reading this blog shall know what I mean. The most innocent sounding words somehow get twisted into having sexual connotations without any apparent rhyme or reason! Why o why? The other day my friend raised this topic, and we got to enlisting a number of these mis-meant strings of letters. I was baffled by the sheer number of words that I came across! Nearly every third or fourth word we speak in our daily lives is not always what it was meant to be. In fact, it was her suggestion that this topic may just be worth blogging about. Abhilasha here goes your suggestion converted into action.
But thing is, I am myself a little unsure what the exact purpose of this blog is. Is it because I wish to bring to the notice of the orthodox literary world that look what's happening to your dictionary? Do I wish to share with other females my feeling of embarrassment covered beneath a veneer of 'Oh-okay-it-happens' when it does happen? Do I wish to rebuke the male species to mind their language interpretation skills?
Don't know yaar! I am, just as I mentioned above, Bemused, Amused and Confused. In that order. And did you calculate the %age of confusion in the blog and in me? And did I use any words here that have unintentional double entendres? Wonder!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
